Bobbing Around

   If this trips your trigger, and you're ready to help turn the ideal into the real-deal, please respond to this email with "Heartland" in the subject field. There are many, many ways you can participate. As Caroline Casey would say, "Co-operators are standing by."

Regular readers will be familiar with Steve, AKA Swami Beyondananda. Look him up at http://www.wakeuplaughing.com

Refugee stories: a positive

   On Monday 21 June, we launched Refugees' Australian Stories - a multimedia initiative portraying the compelling stories of refugees from around the world who have made Australia their home. Responding to the negative images of refugees and asylum seekers often found in mainstream media, the project aims to give a human face to public discussions on this issue by focusing on their long-term contributions and lives in Australia. It hopes to show that they have been great co-workers, neighbours and friends to other Australians for many years and fears associated with them are unfounded.

   Please use the materials on this website for educational and discussion purposes, particularly with students and children.

   The website address is http://www.ras.unimelb.edu.au/Refugees_Australian_Stories/

Download a promotional flier at: http://www.ras.unimelb.edu.au/images/Refugees%20Australian%20Stories_RAS.pdf

   You can listen to the podcast of the launch by Sir Gus Nossal, followed by a public lecture by Professor Patrick McGorry on "The Mental Health Needs of Asylum Seekers" here: http://harangue.lecture.unimelb.edu.au/Lectopia/Lectopia.lasso?ut=1448&id=90263#

   Read about it in The Age at: http://www.theage.com.au/national/plea-from-man-who-fled-in-fear-of-his-life-20100620-yp7o.html.

I was a refugee, so this cause is close to my heart.

Environment

How to move toward a viable Australia by Bob Douglas
Thingloop
Environmental victories in Queensland and NSW

How to move toward a viable Australia
by Bob Douglas

1. Nothing short of transformative change in a number of core values that are currently dear to Australian society will result in a viable future for our descendants. These current values are reinforced by our current economic framework, our political system and the mass media.

2. They contribute to a set of attitudes and norms that the planet is there for us to exploit for our benefit; that competition, not collaboration is the way to maximize human wellbeing and that we in Australia can build a fortress around our own good fortune and create our own utopia in a sea of misery.

3. I am firmly convinced by the writings of Riane Eisler that we must engineer "partnerism" into the fabric of Australian and world society to balance the current dominator mentality and that we must assign priority in our economy to caring for people and the environment. Eisler's book The real wealth of Nations offers an architecture for new economic structures.

4. The central values shift that we must engineer is toward the primacy of human relationships and the health of the environment on which wellbeing exists. This requires broader community understanding of our dependency on the environment and the parlous state that it is currently in as well as a broader understanding of what constitutes genuine human wellbeing.

5. The goal of a viable Australia requires that our society produces resilient individuals, communities, organizations and institutions that are "fit for purpose" in a rapidly changing world.

6. That in turn means a special focus on nurture and education of our children and young people. Education 3.0 should empower them to recognize their own capacity to adapt and contribute.

7. The strategy I would like to see is one which assists parents and their children across Australia in a positive exploration of what makes for human and environmental wellbeing.

8. The actions that will build that strategy into a national transformative movement will surely include an expanding involvement of the arts as well as the sciences in this endeavour; the creative use of technology; and a rediscovery of the importance of neighborhood.

9. In my view, the essential values toward which we need to move are very well captured in two existing documents, The Earth Charter www.earthcharter.org.au and the Australian Wellbeing Manifesto www.wellbeingmanifesto.net.

Bob is a former Director of the National Centre for Epidemiology and Population Health at the Australian National University. Since his retirement in 2001 he has been involved in the development of two NGOs: a national body, Australia21, which builds networks of expertise across disciplines and institutions on key unsolved national problems, and a local body based in the ACT, SEE-Change, which aims to empower residents of the suburbs of Canberra to take action to reduce their carbon and ecological footprints.

Thingloop
by Jaymi Heimbuch, Planet Green

   When it comes to being both frugal and green, product service systems are where it’s at. While websites like FreeCycle and Craigslist keep things in the consumer stream by letting people resell or trade for free, there are other websites that take it a step further, allowing you to rent or borrow, rather than own. Rentalic is one such example, allowing people to rent things from or to each other. But an even cheaper, easier way to go is lending and borrowing. So the latest website to open up is Thingloop.

   Thingloop lets you show people what you own, and see what other people own, and then you can ask to borrow or lend out what you have. In a nutshell, it’s like we all live in one big house and anyone can use anything in that house, with permission. Here’s the big idea:

   Thingloop just launched in March, and it is already adding new features to the site to make borrowing or lending to friends and neighbors easier. There’s also the ability to add value to items, and Thingloop shows that people are lending each other $13,228.16 worth of stuff already. You can use the valuation to track how much you’re saving by borrowing, and how much you’re helping other people save by lending them your stuff.

   Product service systems are an important step to dematerializing our culture, and leaning more on a handful of quality objects shared amoung one another, rather than everyone owning gads of stuff, much of which is poorly made and much of which is rarely used. Companies like Zipcar or City CarShare are great examples, giving people access to wheels only when they need them and radically reducing the number of cars needing to be manufactured. Bike sharing services work similarly. And of course there’s Netflix, making borrowing movies as easy as imaginably possible so that no one needs to each own an individual copy of Inconvenient Truth or Planet Earth. The idea is even spreading to batteries used in developing countries.

   In all, services like Thingloop help us all cut costs and carbon footprints, and we love that.

Environmental victories in Queensland and NSW

In March, I signed a petition addressed to the Honourable Anna Bligh, Premier of Queensland, asking for protection to the wild and beautiful Wenlock River. Here is the circular she'd sent out to all signatories:

   Thank you for writing to the Queensland Government about your support for the declaration of the Wenlock River as a Wild River.

   I am pleased to inform you that the Queensland Government announced on 4 June 2010 the declaration of the Wenlock River under the Wild Rivers program. The Declaration of the Wenlock as a Wild River means the near pristine river on Cape York Peninsula will be preserved for current and future Queenslanders, and the world.

   The Wenlock River is one of Australia's most spectacular natural assets and the wild river area covers an expanse of 7435 square kilometres and includes 13 major tributaries in this magnificent part of Australia. The river has the highest number of freshwater fish species in any Australian river, and the surrounding rainforest provides crucial habitat for the palm cockatoo, spotted cuscus, the magnificent riflebird and the amethystine python.

   Under the declaration, the natural values of the wild river area have been formally identified so that this precious part of the world that has been mostly untouched by development can be protected for generations to come.

   By State and Commonwealth law, the Declaration cannot impact on native title. The rights of the Indigenous communities who have long standing connections with the wild river area are enshrined in the Wild Rivers Act 2005.

   The Wenlock is the tenth Wild River Declaration area in Queensland. Through this declaration, the Bligh Government has struck the right balance between environmental protection and sustainable development in this extraordinary part of the world.

   For more information on the declaration go to via www.qld.gov.au.

Yours sincerely
ANNA BLIGH MP
PREMIER OF QUEENSLAND

And there is good news for the irreplaceable river red gums of the Murray River. Last year, Victoria acted to protect them, and now:

Campaign Win! Historic decision protects the Murray River Red Gum Forests

   Following a campaign led by the Wilderness Society and the National Parks Association of NSW, the NSW Government has announced that they will protect the internationally important River Red Gum Forests -- including the immediate protection of the iconic Millewa Forest.

   This is an historic conservation outcome for NSW, with a greater proportion of State Forest lands protected than in any previous forest decision.

   Combined with recent new park decisions across Victorian Forests, the decision sees over 200,000 hectares of River Red Gum Forests protected in the Murray region.

Health

Notes of a volunteer helper from Alfredo Zotti
US child trauma resource

Notes of a volunteer helper
from Alfredo Zotti

   As a volunteer de-facto therapist I have been trying for the past few years, to help people through email exchanges. Someone has asked why I do this.

   The main reason is that deep in my heart I know that people who suffer from mental disorders seldom receive the proper help, most times even from professional therapists.

   The truth is that no one knows exactly what mental illness is. Theories are partly helpful but mostly a construction which, no doubt, in a few years will become obsolete.

   To be a good therapist one, has to be prepared to forgive, not to judge quickly, to put oneself in the shoes of the other person and to help even in the most difficult cases.

   From experience, most mental health help sites often reject the more severe cases (most often by banning these people) preferring members or visitors who fully conform to the norm. In other words the people who visit the site are to be as close as possible to "normal." But one may well ask why go there in the first place if it is not really for those with severe symptoms. The idea for this is that sufferers who have serious symptoms should go to a professional for help not on these sites. But professionals do not always provide required help and stigma is extremely powerful in our society. It makes sense that we should begin to make room for these more severe cases in our social structures.

   The contradiction for me is this: are these sites for those who show very mild symptoms? And if yes, why are these sites dedicated to mental health or mental disorders? Clearly they should not be for to help those with milder symptoms seems a cop out or a convenient way to avoid real work, real commitment and most importantly to avoid the attempt to reduce stigma. Provided that the sufferers does not present a physical threat to anyone then they should be helped.

   It is very difficult to help people towards positive change, but to be honest I never try to change the person. I just offer my help hoping that I can assist the other person in finding their own way to help themselves because this is important. No change is possible unless the person wants to change for the better. And when the person is willing to help her or himself then interesting improvements happen.

   Whatever the case, I always try to help even when change does not seem possible; even when the person repeats the same mistakes. I am just there to listen and to support.

   After thousands of email exchanges, I find it hard to distinguish between those who suffer from mental disorders and those who do not. I think that every person has their problems. In this sense I no longer believe in mental illness as such.

   I am particularly proud of myself for one thing: my method, however limited and simple, works toward the reduction of stigma. This is because I don't believe in the term mental illness as it is used in capitalist society. The term means a distinction between those who suffer and those who don't and it is loaded with concepts and related meaning that leads directly to stigma. I believe in the term disorder where that disorder is not permanent and not fixed. This does not mean that the disorder is less painful than an illness. To the contrary depression can generate illnesses like heart and respiratory problems not to mention more severe conditions. But it does mean that mental disorders are in a league of their own and that we need new perspectives from which to truly study and understand the phenomena.

   After my experience on the internet I cannot help but wonder what many academics will ever really know about mental disorder if they continue to follow the mental illness model. But even here I try to forgive their mistakes and I try to put myself in their shoes: they suffer from another disorder that may be fear of losing their position as most professionals are required, by the ideology, to conform to the ideas of the times. Unfortunately if we conform to the ideas of the times we cannot go very far. For this reason only the marginal people of society, or those who work from the margin of the system and not within, can truly contribute to some change. Those who are in have to remain corrupted by necessity in order to continue benefiting from the system.

   It is perhaps my marginal social position, from which I see the pitfalls of the academia, that I can truly offer some real help. The marginal position is powerful precisely because it is a position free from the powerful influence of the system.

Look up Alfredo's new web site.

US child trauma resource

http://nctsn.org

The NCTSN Mission

   To raise the standard of care and improve access to services for traumatized children, their families and communities throughout the United States.

The NCTSN Vision

   The NCTSN works to accomplish its mission of serving the nation's traumatized children and their families by:

• Raising public awareness of the scope and serious impact of child traumatic stress on the safety and healthy development of America's children and youth.
• Advancing a broad range of effective services and interventions by creating trauma-informed developmentally and culturally appropriate programs that improve the standard of care.
• Working with established systems of care including the health, mental health, education, law enforcement, child welfare, juvenile justice, and military family service systems to ensure that there is a comprehensive trauma-informed continuum of accessible care.
• Fostering a community dedicated to collaboration within and beyond the NCTSN to ensure that widely shared knowledge and skills become a sustainable national resource.

Deeper Issues

Living on nothing?
Loving unconditionally by Isha Judd

Living on nothing?

AHMEDABAD: An 83-year-old Indian holy man who says he has spent seven decades without food or water has astounded a team of military doctors who studied him during a two-week observation.

   Prahlad Jani spent a fortnight in a hospital in the western India state of Gujarat under constant surveillance from a team of 30 medics equipped with cameras and closed-circuit television. He neither ate nor drank and did not go to the toilet.

   "We still do not know how he survives," neurologist Sudhir Shah said.

   "It is still a mystery what kind of phenomenon this is."

   The long-haired and bearded yogi was sealed in a hospital in the city of Ahmedabad in a study initiated by India's Defence Research and Development Organisation, the state defence and military research institute.

   The DRDO hopes that the findings, set to be released in detail in several months, could help soldiers survive without food and drink, assist astronauts or even save the lives of people trapped in natural disasters.

   "(Jani's) only contact with any kind of fluid was during gargling and bathing periodically during the period," G. Ilavazahagan, director of India's Defence Institute of Physiology and Allied Sciences, said in a statement.

   Jani has since returned to his village near Ambaji in northern Gujarat, where he will resume his routine of yoga and meditation. He says that he was blessed by a goddess at a young age, who gave him special powers.

   During the observation, the doctors took scans of Jani's organs, brain and blood vessels, as well as doing tests on his heart, lungs and memory capacity.

   "The reports were all in the predetermined safety range through the observation period," Dr Shah said.

   "If Jani does not derive energy from food and water, he must be doing that from energy sources around him, sunlight being one.

   "As medical practitioners we cannot shut our eyes to possibilities, to a source of energy other than calories."

From India News.

Loving unconditionally
by Isha Judd

Loving unconditionally. Giving without expecting anything in return. We all think we should, but most of the time these concepts are just lofty ideals, impossible to achieve no matter how hard we try. Why is it so difficult to love unconditionally?

   The reason we cannot love others unconditionally is because we don’t know how to love ourselves. How can I give what I do not have? How can I perceive perfection in another, accept them as they are, if I see myself as flawed? The only way to love unconditionally is to first learn to love ourselves.

   Ironically, in modern society we have the idea that loving oneself is selfish. Actually, it is selfish to not love yourself, because as long as you reject yourself, judge yourself, and focus on what is wrong, you will be needing something from others: approval, acceptance, recognition. That is being selfish: to take from your loved ones, instead of giving freely. Loving yourself is to stop being selfish, and to start taking responsibility: to take responsibility for your own joy, your own fulfillment. When being with yourself is enough, when your own presence is a pleasure, you can give freely to those around you without clinging, without needing; without taking. When you feel complete within yourself, It is a natural joy to give to others, to serve them in their own self realization and in remembering their own perfection.

   The misconception of the ego as someone who is obsessed with their own grandeur just goes to show how lost in our egos we really are: the ego is the voice that convinces us their is something wrong with us, that judges us and keeps us small. It often adopts a false posture of pride and arrogant superiority, but if we cannot see this for what it really is -- profound fear and insecurity -- it is only because we ourselves are stuck in the same game of self judgment and rejection.

   If you want to love unconditionally, first accept that you don’t. Accept your conditions, your needs, the contracts you put in your personal relationships. If you cannot be honest with yourself, see yourself as you really are, you will not be able to change. Let’s not focus on appearing to be unconditionally loving; let’s focus on becoming unconditional love. By embracing yourself as you are, you will become the person you always thought you should be.

Isha Judd is an internationally renowned spiritual teacher and author; her latest book and movie, Why Walk When You Can Fly? explain her system for self-love and the expansion of consciousness. Learn more at www.whywalkwhenyoucanfly.com.

Psychology

First aid if you are suicidal
Is it ADHD, or... by Sarah Major
I don't want to kill myself but
The more you give the more you get
I want to kill my ex

First aid if you are suicidal

   My new client was unable to speak. She sat facing me, and sobbed, tears streaming down her face. She was hunched forward head down, and looked ready to die. Indeed, the referral had stated that she was actively suicidal.

   The referring doctor had also briefly outlined her story. She fell in love with a guy. They moved together and got pregnant. One day, while he was out, she accidentally found the equipment for shooting up heroin. When he returned she confronted him with it, and said "It's drugs or me."

   He beat her so severely that she lost the baby. The doctor had put her on an antidepressant and chased her off to see me.

   Now, sitting there with someone who was supposed to help her to address her issues, she completely collapsed.

   I took her by the hand and we went for a walk around the block. "Look at that wall," I said. "Look at the lichen growing on it. Don't put any labels on, just watch how every bit is unique and different."

   We walked a few steps. I told her to feel the pavement pressing against her feet, the breeze in her face, the sound of cars on the highway, how the air smelled. As we kept slowly walking, I drew her attention to the grass, with, again, every blade different, to the leaves and bark of a tree, to a bird.

   Ten minutes later, back in my room, she could talk sensibly.

   We had three sessions after this. By then, she had returned to work, and while still grieving for her unborn baby, was glad that the druggie guy was out of her life.

   That exercise of attending to the NOW may have saved her life.

   Its technical name is "grounding." It is actually a Buddhist meditative exercise.

   The truth is:

The past is history.
The future is a mystery.
I give you -- a PRESENT.

   All sadness, anger, grief and the like is when we are caught in the past.

   All worry and anxiety is when we are caught in the future.

   But there is no past, no future, only NOW.

   So, you focus in on the sensory details of this instant. Focus entirely on what you see, hear, feel in your body, on your skin, smells and tastes and movements. Don't put any meanings to them, they just are.

   Think of a cat. She does this all the time. A cat is very Buddhist. She will stay motionless, meditating for hours, and yet when a mouse moves into view, she is instant action. If something distresses her, she is upset, and works at reducing the problem. Once the distress is over, once more she is content, and quiet.

   Life is.

Is it ADHD, or...
by Sarah Major

   Many people question the frequency of diagnosis of ADHD -- do all of these children really have problems in their brain functioning, or could it be that for some, life experience has contributed to their inability to control themselves and remain focused? It is not a coincidence that the rise in ADHD diagnoses coincides with the withering of old-fashioned free play, and with the explosion of electronic media as play and entertainment for children. There is also no mistaking that the new hot topic in education, executive function, deals with the issues of self-regulation, self-control, self-discipline, and impulse control-- all skills that can be taught. From my point of view, several inter-related factors impact children and the way they develop.

   Check out this article from National Public Radio entitled Creative Play Makes for Kids in Control. The setting is an early childhood center in New Jersey. The basis for all that is done in the school has to do with teaching and reinforcing executive function skills in the enrolled children. The article cites the loss of free play as a major factor in the loss of executive functioning in children.

   "For most of human history, children played by roaming near or far in packs large and small. Younger children were supervised by older children and engaged in freewheeling imaginative play. They were pirates and princesses, aristocrats and heroes.

   “But, while all that play might have looked a lot like time spent doing nothing much at all, it actually helped build a critical cognitive skill called executive function. Executive function has a number of elements, such as working memory and cognitive flexibility. But perhaps the most important is self-regulation -- the ability for kids to control their emotions and behavior, resist impulses, and exert self-control and discipline. Executive function -- and its self-regulation element -- is important. Poor executive function is associated with high dropout rates, drug use and crime. In fact, good executive function is a better predictor of success in school than a child's IQ.”

   Two things stand out to me from this quote: one, that free play helps develops the critical skill called "executive function" and that the lack of it can have devastating lifelong consequences.

   The NPR article ends with this statement: "She [Adele Diamond, executive function researcher] and several other researchers argue that children's reduced self-regulation skills may be showing up in the numbers of kids diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder."

   A lot of kids get diagnosed with ADHD now, many just because they never learned how to exercise self-control, self-regulation, the executive functions early.

   This really gets to the heart of the connection between executive function and ADHD-like symptoms: children who never learned to self-regulate will naturally exhibit traits that look very similar to those of ADHD and may be one cause for the recent increase in ADHD diagnoses.

   Along with diminishing free play and executive function, a big factor to consider in the increasing diagnoses of ADHD is an increase in electronic media. I cannot emphasize enough the harm we are doing our children by letting them use so much electronic media for entertainment and also increasingly for school. The reason this habit is so costly is borne out in the stunted development of thousands of children around the world today. At the very time in which their outdoor free play was limited, what took the place of this valuable developmental play time was electronic media, which renders the child passive and prone to acting on impulse. After all, that is how you win most computer games -- you act quickly without stopping to consider. Images shifting so quickly train a brain to be ADD-like and inhibit growth of the all important executive function.

   This topic weighs so heavily on my heart and just writing about it pains me. In my global mind’s eye I see a vast map of the world, and the thousands upon thousands of children who are being reared in an environment that goes counter to the way they were designed to develop naturally. I see many kids being medicated in order to bring their behaviors under control when for some, the root of the issue may not even be a problem with brain functioning. I see many children being labeled, failing, and yet their days continuing to be full of what caused them harm in the beginning.

Sarah Major, CEO of Child1st Publications, has been a Title 1 director and program developer for grades K-7, an ESOL teacher, and a classroom teacher. Sarah is passionate about identifying gaps in learning common to many children and creating materials to meet those needs. Read more at www.child-1st.com.

I don't want to kill myself but

Hi,

   I am 22 years old and i am very depressed.

   Every time i think of my parents and girl friend (whom i love a lot) i feel like committing suicide.

   I am currently per-suing my degree in engineering.

   I work at a call center to get rid of the educational loan.

   My parents and girl friend expect a lot out of me.

   They tell me about their expectations on how they would like me to buy them a big house and car.

   I am not a money minded person.

   They are turning me into one. I cannot concentrate on my studies because of these constant thoughts bothering me.

   I am devoted christian and i know suicide is wrong but the constant thoughts are killing me.

   I hardly get to sleep as i have to go to college in the morning and work at night.

   Nobody knows how i feel and i am scared to approach anybody for help as i know nobody would understand. They would be angry and disappointed.

Please help me.
Regards.

Geoff my dear,

   First, my friend, read http://bobswriting.com/essay.html. This will show to you that we are kindred spirits. I share your attitude to money.

   Your entire email shows you to be intelligent, thoughtful and sensitive.

   And you are right: these faults do not deserve the death sentence. When your depression urges you to kill yourself, say, "No thank you. I don't deserve the death sentence."

   You are suffering, and life feels for you as if it was intolerable. You find the reason for this in the pressure your parents and girlfriend put on you, their expectations that you are some kind of superman who is going to achieve wonders, and become a millionaire or something. And you don't share their goals for you, and I suspect you don't feel you could achieve them even if you wanted to. So, the monster "never good enough" is torturing you, right?

   Add to this the lack of sleep, no time to relax and have fun. Life is an endless round of work and study. And when you are not doing either, someone is laying their expectations on you.

   This sucks.

   Let's look at each of these in turn.

   Your girlfriend would like you to earn lots of money and buy her lots of things. This is a big negative for you.

   I assume there are also lots of positives. There must be things you like about this girl. The research on relationships is summarised at http://anxietyanddepression-help.com/relationships.html. You will see there that for it to be good, you need at least 5 positives for each negative. Is that the case in your situation?

   There are two kinds of issues: problems that have a solution, and forever-differences that we need to put up with. Have a serious discussion with this young lady and tell her, straight out, that you have no desire to own a huge house with a huge mortgage, and a gas-guzzling monster of a car, and a holiday in exotic places every few months. Your heart is on different achievements, which have nothing to do with the toys most people take to be the center of their lives. Get her to read my essay too.

   Then ask her: if you are to get married, can she be happy with you if you choose a materially modest life, but one rich in other rewards? (I don't know what they are, because you didn't write about the things you do value.)

   If she says no, then kiss her good-bye, keep her for a friend, and find another girl. If she says yes, then kiss her, and keep her as a girlfriend. Either way, you'll have got her off your back about the toys like house and car and stuff.

   Now for your parents.

   There is a wonderful book: "The Prophet" by Kahil Gibran. In this, he writes:

   The parent is the bow.

   The child is the arrow.

   Aim well, draw back, and let go.

   You are 22, an adult. Lovingly tell them to let go. You will chart your own journey, and will continue to love and honor them, but you want to make your own decisions. If these prove to be mistakes, you'll learn from them. You see, every mistake is a learning opportunity. It is how we improve.

   Tell them that sometimes you may need advice, and then you will run to them for it. For the rest, please, can they let you do your own thing, your way?

   Sounds difficult? Well, it is. But there is a rule of success: "Face the fear and do it anyway."

   I sense that behind what you write may be a belief that when you care for someone, like you care for your parents and girlfriend, you must not disagree with them, must not have conflict. Is that right?

   I don't know. But let me tell you, people actually appreciate you more for being able to stand up for yourself, in a respectful and even loving way.

   If you can't do it face to face at first, maybe you can write them a well thought out, loving but firm letter. I can tell you, they are unlikely to reject you for stating your mind, or to think you crazy. Think out what you need them to know, and set it down in a caring way.

   My reading is that they want the best for you, and they are misled into believing that this is material wealth. You and I disagree with them, but it's still the case that they are acting from love. You can accept and return the love -- and ignore the advice.

   Your next problem is not enough sleep. Read http://anxietyanddepression-help.com/firstaid.html.

   This document has a recipe for getting a good rest regardless. Also, learn meditation. Ten minutes of deep inner peace is worth a couple of hours of sleep.

   Geoff, one day you will look back on this phase of your life and congratulate yourself for having survived it. Think what life will be like when you are 30, and a graduate engineer, and doing good things with your time, serving God in your own way. And, you know, God never gives us a challenge without also giving us the means of meeting it. Suffering is a goad to inner growth.

   A final thought: stress is not what happens out there, but how we react to it.

With love,
Bob

The more you give the more you get

Hi,

   My name is Terry and I am a 14 year old boy and I really have felt alone for about the past two months. Today, I just had a bad day... everything that could have gone wrong did and felt like I wanted to kill myself. I simply looked up "I want to kill myself" and your reply to the 16 year old girl, Rachel was there. This really lifted my spirits and made me think of the better things in life. There has been a build up in my life of things that are just to much for me, and reading this letter helped. If Rachel read that reply, I know you helped her out too. This may seem silly, saying you helped after reading one statement from you, but it did. I just wanted to say thanks.

Terry

Dear Terry,

   And you made my day. I also had a pretty difficult day, and when I was young it would have got me down, but now I bounce back no trouble. You can achieve this too.

   And once you've beaten the inner monster that is trying to kill you, you can beat it again. Each time, you can get stronger.

   I have no idea of your circumstances, and know nothing about you except that you are highly intelligent.

   I asked Rachel a question: why do young people in the over-wealthy countries feel despair, while those struggling to survive can be among the most cheerful people on the planet?

   What is your answer to this?

   At 14, you are at the start of what can be a wonderful journey, or it can be hell, or it can be neither, but sleepwalking through life. You have a choice. Now that you have been through this crisis, you can think about how you want to live the rest of your life.

   Design the life of Terry at, say, 24. What are you doing? What are the good things in your life? Choose a profession you would like to work toward, something that allows you to be of service to others. Having suffered, you are qualified to do that. Take time over designing the future you. Make it so good that an actor could step into the role.

   Once you have a goal, you can spend the next 10 years organizing your life to take you there.

And I'll add you to my list of grandchildren.
Love,
Bob

I want to kill my ex

   i got ur e mail off a website and i seen u giving a lil advice to someone that was wondering why he feels the need to kill someone. And i was wondering the same thing my ex boyfriend pissed me off and all i can think about is hurting him soo bad as much as he hurt me so i want to know why do i feel this way thank you kerry

   Kerry, it is perfectly natural for you to feel this way. He has hurt you, so you want to hurt him back.

   There is nothing wrong with feeling this way.

   In fact, why don't you plan it out in detail? Work out exactly what you are going to do, where, how, and how you will get away with it. You can do more than one story like this.

   Ever heard of Sue Grafton? That's what she did. She was going through a TERRIBLE divorce, and made up a way of killing her husband. Only, she didn't do it. She wrote the idea up as a detective book. This started a wonderful career, and now she has 22 books in the series, and they sell all around the world.

   So, you can convert something that's dragging you down into some fun.

   There would be something wrong with actually doing it. If you went and hurt this fellow, you would become as bad as he is. When he hurt you, that made him into a vicious bully. That is its own punishment. If you were to shoot him or poison him or push him out a window or something, that would make you into a murderer. It would make you into a vicious killer.

   So, don't do it. But it sure is all right to dream about it, in detail.

   And there are plenty of decent, kind, loving young men out there who respect a lady. Find one of them to love.

:)
Bob

For writers

e-publishing news
What is fiction about?
Publish your books through Double Dragon

e-publishing news

   EPIC is the international association of electronically published writers. I have been a member since 1999. This organisation is a source of support, information sharing and common purpose among over 700 writers. It holds two annual contests. One is for electronically published books of all kinds, and is the premier award in this field. The other is for school-age children. There is also an annual convention, where the winners are announced.

   EPIC now has a blog, which is a source of information: all you need to know about electronic books. You can find the blog at http://ebooks.epicauthors.com/.

What is fiction about?

   In one word, EMOTION.

   Music is about emotion. So are all forms of visual art. They are artforms, as writing is.

   Beginning writers are often consumed by the need to inform. Much of what's boring in some books is information instead of creation. But creation is what's needed. The author creates:

• a world. This could be a fantasy in which rabbits talk; or science fiction in which people are on strange planets or in alternative futures; or at some past point in history... or it can be a piece of today, so realistic that you can recognise its scenes. Even then, the author needs to make you feel that you are THERE. This is a matter of creation.
• some people. Again, they can be like the people in your neighbourhood, or green little beings with three arms and legs and no head. They can be werewolves or intelligent galactic centres. What matters is that the author should bring them to life for you. You need to be induced to CARE what happens to them.
• a situation. It's no fun reading about a family breakfast in which people happily eat, kiss good-bye and go off to school and work. We need tension: a character in the story needs to face a difficulty that the reader can identify with, and an obstacle that makes it seem impossible to achieve.

   So, the character faces a challenge, and this causes emotion. The reader identifies with the character, feels a copy of the emotion -- and therefore must read on to get a resolution.

   At every chapter break, every scene, every paragraph, even every sentence, there is the unasked question: "Why should I bother to read on?" The successful answer is always "because I need to know what happens to these people."

   Information does have its place, but it must be well disguised. In the best writing, you are instructed without realising that you are, invisibly. As an example, here is the start of the story about the little green three-armed and three legged people:

   "The terrible times started on a beautiful afternoon.

   "Mirla lay on the soft long grass of a wide forest clearing. Her three baskets overflowed with juicy yellow cutberries, ready for jam making. Grandmother wouldn’t mind that she took a little rest in this peaceful place."

   A few paragraphs later,

   "She picked up the baskets, one in each hand, and started hurrying back."

   This is the first indication that she has three hands. The reader may not even notice, but it will have its effect. The main aim of this introduction is NOT to give instruction on this person's anatomy, but to make her interesting and sympathetic, someone we are going to care a lot about.

   So, don't tell me about your story. Take me into it, and make me feel the emotions.

Publish your books through Double Dragon

   For the past 10 years, Double Dragon publishers have successfully published books in many formats. Now, publisher Deron Douglas is offering the facility for other, smaller publishers and individual authors. You can have your book converted into a wide variety of ebook formats. There is also a paperback layout service, and book editing.

   Look the service up at http://www.double-dragon-publishing-services.com/.

What my friends want you to know

Ride the Talk: cycling around Australia
Book Publicity: Free PDF file from Paul Krupin
New book out by P. R. Roberts
Enhance your intelligence with Richard Singer
Writers' boot camp
Bainstorming * 3
One-day workshop by Carolyn Howard-Johnson

Ride the Talk: cycling around Australia

   ATA’s member network has always provided wonderful hospitality and support to people doing remarkable things, most recently when Louis Palmer was travelling around the country in his Solar Taxi.

   John Knox, an ATA member and part-time staff member, has decided that he needs to be more active in the fight against climate change to give his two children the best opportunity to live in a low-carbon world.

   A past cycle tourer and cycle commuter for over 30 years, he’s getting on his bike to travel around Australia, giving talks to provide people with practical tips to help save energy and money. John will also be collecting signatures for a petition, which will be sent to the federal and state governments, calling for immediate action on climate change.

   John will be away from his family for up to six months however he believes that something needs to be done to turn the tide on climate action. After presenting his talk at various venues in Melbourne in July, John will embark on his ride at the start of August and travel in an anti-clockwise direction around Australia.

   If you are interested in offering John some hospitality on his way around Australia, please email Wendy.

   To see if John can talk to your local community group, email Francesca at talks@ridethetalk.com.au

   For more information, www.ridethetalk.com.au

   To sign the petition, go to www.ridethetalk.com.au/get-active/sign-the-petition.

Book Publicity: Free PDF file

   I've just uploaded a new updated ebook version of my book Trash Proof News Releases to my web site. It's a free pdf file that captures many years' worth of lessons learned doing publicity for creative people. It's also got numerous examples of successful news releases and interviews with over a hundred media people on what it takes to be successful.

   Please feel free to share this link with anyone who can use the education.

http://www.directcontactpr.com/files/files/TrashProof2010.pdf

   Enjoy! Call or email me if you have any questions.

Paul J. Krupin Direct Contact PR

New book out by P. R. Roberts

My Eavesdrop Station -- One Family's Rich Saga

   A large family’s trials and tribulations -- as well as its love -- weave together a rich saga of the Humbley family of Australia.

   Told over a 28-year span, Adam Humbley, the oldest of six sons, fondly reminisces about his large family. Adam usually occupies a special place in the family room, which he named My Eavesdrop Station. There he pretended to read, but instead listened to all the gossip. After his aunt and uncle die, Adam’s four girl cousins came to live with them.

   How this family of ten children manages to form a lasting bond that holds it together over the years shows how love can transform your life.

   MY EAVESDROP STATION (ISBN: 978-1-60911-435-0) is available for $14.95 and can be ordered through the publisher’s website: http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/MyEavesdropStation.html.

Enhance your intelligence with Richard Singer

   Author Richard A. Singer, Jr. became known to the public by publishing a wonderful book that hit a chord with readers! USA Book News gave Your Daily Walk With The Great Minds a Best Books Award in 2007. In the form of a daily calendar, Singer provided a brilliantly edited sampling of wisdom for each day of the year. From great thinkers the ranging from Booker T. Washington, Jr. to Lao-Tze to Benjamin Franklin, Singer culled quotations that would infuse the reader's day with a usable and enlightening insight.

   Now, Richard Singer has even outdone himself by creating a new book that not only travels light but carries light. In an age when many books berate and upbraid the reader for their political lacks, their spiritual lacks, their societal lacks, Richard Singer is a refreshing and adventurous writer who engages the reader to enter a book where they can be nourished by that spark of human common sense we all share. That common sense is a powerful link down the ages, but it is sometimes obscured by the noise and sensation of today's worries and headlines.

   Unintelligent Humans: Questions To Stimulate Your Soul (Author House) is a wonderful concept in and of itself because by book's end, you have been on a journey where you discover the fact that you are NOT an Unintelligent Human. By answering some thought-provoking questions you begin to laugh at the fact that you really have a foundation of wisdom, and that your thoughts dovetail with the Great Minds of the Ages. How the author accomplishes this is one of the fun surprises of the book: You laugh as you learn.

   The book is divided into two sections that help you laugh and learn at the same time. Highlighted by delightful illustrations, the first half of the book is big fun because it asks you to compare Human Behavior to Animal Behavior. Question: "Do animals spend most of their precious moments on their Blackberry or computer rather than enjoying quality time with their family and friends?"

   We all know the answer to this one, but Richard Singer challenges the reader further with:" Do animals judge each other by simple differences in their external appearance?" In an era when answers to these questions get obscured again and again by ugly politics, this is a perfect time to share the wisdom of this book with young people as well as keeping the book with you at the beach or at work. The illustrations are charming and inviting and the questions are still the important ones we don't always share the answers to with others.

   The second part of the book is a well-crafted document of the Eight Principles that the Author lives by. And each principle is a starting off point for a discussion of its own. And even adding to the adventure of reading this book, author Singer buttresses his principles with core beliefs from some of the great thinkers yet again. You find that place where the wisdom of great thinkers, the wisdom of the author, and the wisdom of you, the reader, all find a place to let these ideas dance with joy.

   Here are the Principles:

1. All Human Beings Are Equal
2. Materiel Possessions Do Not Create Meaning or Purpose in Life
3. Live According To Your Spirit And Not Your Ego
4. We Are Social Beings, Thus It Is Our Nature to Help Each Other
5. Give As Much As You Possibly Can To Humanity
6. I am Personally Responsible For The Path I Take In Life
7. Do Not Allow Society To Dictate My Life
8. Live My Life Completely In The Moment

   As a writer and thinker of our age, Richard Singer is taking us on a new book journey. One where we find our Shared Path in Life is maybe not so much about Secrets, but about sharing the Answers that really matter. And when you do that in a fun way, you have really accomplished something.

   For more info about the book visit www.UnintelligentHuman.com.

   To book an interview with Richard A. Singer. Jr., contact Tom Brennan, 760-898-9213.

Writers' boot camp

   The 8th Annual Borderlands Press Writers Boot Camp, which will be held January 28th - 30th , 2011 in Towson, Maryland.

   Details: http://www.borderlandspress.com/workshops.html. Send application letter and writing sample to: bootcamp@borderlandspress.com

   If you want to take a giant step in the improvement of your writing skills and better your chances of getting published, this is the workshop for you.

Bainstorming * 3

   Since my last issue, Darrell Bain has published THREE issues of his newsletter:

http://www.darrellbain.com.
Darrell Bain
Fictionwise Author of the year
Multiple Epic and Dream Realm awards

One-day workshop by Carolyn Howard-Johnson

   Carolyn Howard-Johnson, the multi award-winning author of more than a dozen books, will teach a one-day seminar on book marketing for writers at UCLA Extension Writers’ Program this summer quarter.

   The world-renowned program offers writers classes--from the craft of writing to promoting one’s writing--at several different venues and online. Howard-Johnson’s seminar, Creating a Promotion Package for Your Fiction or Nonfiction Book, will be taught Sat. Aug. 7 on the UCLA campus. The class is based on the content of her book The Frugal Book Promoter: How To Do What Your Publisher Won’t, winner of USA Book News Award for business books and the Irwin award, given by Book Publicists of Southern California for marketing campaigns.

   The author has been and instructor for the Writers' Program since 2004. She has served as a publicist for all her own books (including her poetry chapbooks--the most difficult of all genres to promote), been a fashion publicist in New York City, done the marketing for her own chain of retail stores, and has worked in the publishing industry for Good Housekeeping Magazine and a variety of newspapers and trade publications.

   Howard-Johnson was named Woman of the Year in Arts and Entertainment by the 43rd and 44th District of the California Legislature. Her fiction, nonfiction and poems have appeared in national magazines, anthologies and review journals. One of her poems recently won the Franklin Christoph prize. She speaks on Utah's culture, tolerance and other subjects and has appeared on TV and hundreds of radio stations nationwide.

   For more information on UCLA’s Writers’ Program or to request their quarterly extension catalog, call (310) 825-9415. Sign up online at www.uclaextension.edu. The registration number for the English 735.1 class is 76941.

   Howard-Johnson may be reached at HoJoNews@aol.com. Information is also available at http://carolynhoward-johnson.com and http://www.howtodoitfrugally.com.

About Bobbing Around

   If you received a copy of Bobbing Around and don't want a repeat, it's simple. Drop me a line and I'll drop you from my list.

   You may know someone who would enjoy reading my rave. Bobbing Around is being archived at http://mudsmith.net/bobbing.html, or you can forward a copy to your friend. However, you are NOT ALLOWED to pass on parts of the newsletter, without express permission of the article's author and the Editor (hey, the second one is me.)

   If you are not a subscriber but want to be, email me. Subject should be 'subscribe Bobbing Around' (it will be if you click the link in this paragraph). In the body, please state your name, email address (get it right!), your country and something about yourself. I also want to know how you found your way to my newsletter. I hope we can become friends.

Contributions are welcome, although I reserve the right to ecline anything, or to request changes before acceptance. Welcome are:

Submission Guidelines

   It is a FALSE RUMOUR that you need to buy one of my books before your submission is accepted. Not that I cry when someone does so.

   Above all, contributions should be brief. I may shorten them if necessary.

   Content should be non-discriminatory, polite and relevant. Announcements should be 100 to 200 words, shorter if possible. Book reviews, essays and stories should be at the very most 500 words, poems up to 30 lines.

   Author bios should be about 50 words, and if possible include a web address.