Bobbing Around
Volume Eleven, Number Five
February, 2012
bobswriting.com/ anxietyanddepression-help.com/ mudsmith.net/ other issues
Bobbing AroundVolume Eleven, Number Five
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*About Bobbing Around
The HorseHere is another little poem from my Young Greenie's Alphabet, with a brand new illustration by Alfredo Zotti. H just has to be for Horse,
Note: the manure actually comes out the back, not the side.
Bobbing Around is COPYRIGHTED. No part of it may be reproduced in any form, at any venue, without the express permission of the publisher (ME!) and the author if that is another person. You may forward the entire magazine to anyone else. |
Working for the public benefitAs a Director of the Australian Psychological Society, I was required to report to the Chairmen of the 40 or so Branches that cover all of Australia. This is because I chair the Society's committee that deals with its work for the public interest. A formal report was sent to them by email. On the day, I said to them: A report from me has been circulated to all of you. I assume you can read, so I see no point in repeating content. Instead, I want to tell you why I am passionate about working for the public interest. A standard technique in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is to tell the client: "You have just died, at 93 years of age. One of your grandchildren is to deliver a funeral oration for you. Write the speech for this person: what you hope will be said about YOU." What works for clients works for us. OK, let me sketch out two versions of MY funeral oration: Thank heavens the old bastard's gone at last. Look out you lot, I already have a good lawyer, and my share of his millions is MINE. When I was young, I called him Gramp to his face, but Grump behind his back. He never had time for us, it was always screwing the most out of the next business deal. Or the alternative: Please forgive me, I can hardly speak for crying. Grandfather is gone in physical presence, but he'll live on in my heart until I die. Whenever I was in trouble of any kind, a quick phone call to the old boy, a few minutes of his quiet voice, and I knew again that I could cope. Let me share with you now a few of my fun times with him, and a few of the funny times... and so on. Which one is better? This drives home a truth. We are NOT on this planet to seek happiness, to make money, to gain possessions, fame, status, power. These are just tokens in a game. The AIM of the game is to give us OPPORTUNITIES to learn lessons, to grow spiritually. A rule of the universe is: THE MORE YOU GIVE, THE MORE YOU GET. I've had the privilege of working with several people in the last days of their lives, who said to me something like "This cancer is killing me, I'm in great physical pain, but it's the BEST thing that's happened in my life. I am content to die, because now I have a clear view of what's important." A client told me about his father. Everyone had feared the old bugger. It was "My way or the highway," intolerance, constant criticism. Then dad had a heart attack and nearly died. He came out of hospital, in my client's words, "like a lamb." He had learnt the ultimate lesson: only Love is important. Only two things matter in this life: what you take with you when you die, and what you leave behind in the hearts of others. Everything else is Monopoly money. What can you take with you: Lessons learnt, gained wisdom -- or the opposite: hate, bitterness, blame and the like. So, you either advance in spiritual development, or go backward, or of course a bit of each. Look after the heart, the Love, and you can let go of everything else. As a Counselling Psychologist, I am equipped with a set of tools that enables me to lead people from hopelessness and despair to inner strength and contentment. Whatever YOUR work, you have essentially the same training. Most people decide to be psychologists in order to reduce suffering. So, DO it. Do it as an individual. Do it as an office bearer of the society. And let's do it together, as the APS. I am responsible for anything I have written. However, where I reproduce contributions from other people, I do not necessarily endorse their opinions. I may or may not agree with them, but give them the courtesy of a forum. |
We only have one planet.
It is destroyed in the name of greed, by stupidity. Globally, everywhere, our very lives are under attack. This is happening in my backyard. Some days, 30 huge log trucks roar past, taking ancient trees and saplings, to be converted to woodchips. These are to fulfil a contract with a Japanese company, which is subsidised by my government, so that I actually pay for the destruction of my life support system.
A small group of local people have done something incredibly brave: they have challenged the Victorian State government in court. They are getting pro bono help; all the same, their estimated costs are $250,000. So far, they have raised about $70,000.
They are fighting for you, wherever on the planet you live. Here is a statement from them. I personally know and admire these people, and have contributed myself.
On Monday, 6th February, one of the most significant court cases ever undertaken on the conservation of Victoria's threatened fauna commenced in the Supreme Court. The case is testing whether the logging operations of VicForests are in compliance with state laws, focussing on three coupes in Toolangi State Forest, around 80 kms. North-East of Melbourne.
However, VicForests are now arguing that the economic case for continuing the logging of endangered species' habitat outweighs the precautionary principle. In effect saying, jobs are more important than species and ecosystems.
VicForests have stated that if they can't log these three coupes, then they can't log 162 coupes in the Central Highlands Ash forests and many jobs will be lost, 150 firefighters gone and millions of dollars lost to the state. They have threatened that if the precautionary principle is to be applied that it will shut down the industry.
After Black Saturday and decades of industrial logging, the unburned remnant Ash forests now contain what is left of Melbourne's water supply and the last viable population of the endangered Leadbeater's Possum (along with a large host of other threatened flora and fauna).
MyEnvironment have engaged two expert witnesses of unimpeachable authority, Dr Judith Ajani on the economics and Professor David Lindenmayer on the ecological values of our forests.
The anticipated costs of the case have ballooned due to the necessity to respond to VicForests' economics argument and other unexpected costs including increased transcript costs because VicForests have requested real time electronic recording of witnesses. Of course, they have access to government funding.
The Federal Minister for the Environment Tony Burke is engaged (on some level). MyEnvironment Inc. has requested federal assistance as the case fits squarely in their portfolio of responsibility.
The following information may help you understand the case and why it is so significant:
Leadbeater's Possums are Victoria's faunal emblem and are considered a 'canary in the coal mine' species for biodiversity in Victoria's forest water catchments. If they are tipped into extinction, it means other forest species are also tipping. This case seeks to prevent this.
The forest age class that supports hollow dependant wildlife, is the same forest that provides, and releases, massive amounts of clean drinking and irrigation water for urban and rural users. Replacing this forest with young, rapidly growing plantations is greatly reducing water production and habitat for hollow-dependent species.
Melbourne's water was the subject of a 2003 World Bank and WWF report advising against further logging yet logging in water catchments continues. The government's own studies recommended ending catchment logging by 2009 to improve water supply to Melbourne's growing population.
Science has recognised that the world's greatest trees are being lost to disease, climate and drought. In Victoria, we will not have any old growth Ash forests left by 2065 due to industrial logging and fires). Only around 1% of the old-growth Mountain Ash forest remains in these mountains today. Canberra Times summary here.
FSC certification was removed from products coming from these forests because VicForests failed to demonstrate compliance with the principles of biodiversity management.
The primary recipient of wood from the Central Highlands is Japanese multi-national paper producer Nippon Paper Ltd. According to the 2010 URS Treasury report, Nippon does not pay full costs of production so tax-payers are subsidising the wood stream.
Victoria has legislated to guarantee wood to Nippon so the state government, in a bid to access new resources, are now planning to log parks, water catchments and special protection zones to fulfill the contract.
The message being sent to other countries is that it's acceptable to log reserves. In effect, Victoria is in breach of both Federal laws and United Nations agreements.
VicForests argue that they should be allowed to log habitat to keep the industry alive while Scott Gentle ex-CEO Victorian Forestry Contractors Association says the industry is a basket case. The haulers say "it could be better run by a kindergarten" and contractors like Mick McKinnell say that the transition to plantations is inevitable. 7.30 ABC Report
Whilst resource mapping shows that little is left outside special protection zones and buffer strips containing endangered species, the Baillieu/Ryan government is proposing 20 year contracts to guarantee industry stability and underwrite VicForests when commitments can no longer be met. These contracts will need to be paid out when the resource is exhausted so it's a quick return for opportunistic investors.
This is total mismanagement in contravention of national competition policy under which a government business enterprise must not be given any commercial advantage. Two stories from The Age on the state of the industry and the readiness of Labor to act can be seen at the links.
We are just a small group of volunteers with a first-hand understanding of the issues, dedication and determination to save what remains after the Black Saturday bushfires. Over the last decade we have witnessed massive destruction of critical ecosystems and it's time an objective assesment was undertaken.
We have to invest $250,000 for the legal and scientific teams -- We have had $70,000 already committed by a diverse group of concerned people and have reached the first of three funding milestones but further investment is urgently required. Donate here and give us the best chance at representing Melbourne's wildlife and forests to the judiciary.
A two-thirds minority? by Jim Naureckas
There's a news article in the Washington Post that really captures that paper's view of the way the world works, and how it ought to work. Headlined "After Earthquake, Japan Can't Agree on the Future of Nuclear Power," Chico Harlan's piece begins:
The hulking system that once guided Japan's pro-nuclear-power stance worked just fine when everybody moved in lockstep. But in the wake of a nuclear accident that changed the way this country thinks about energy, the system has proved ill-suited for resolving conflict. Its very size and complexity have become a problem."
And what exactly is that problem?
Nearly a year after the triple meltdown at the Fukushima Daiichi facility, Japanese decision-makers cannot agree on how to safeguard their reactors against future disasters, or even whether to operate them at all.
Some experts say this indecision reflects the Japanese tendency to search for, and sometimes depend on, consensus--even when none is likely to emerge. The nation's system for nuclear decision-making requires the agreement of thousands of officials. Most bureaucrats and politicians in Tokyo want Japan to recommit to nuclear power, but they have been thwarted by a powerful minority--reformists and regional governors.
The obstruction by this "powerful minority," the Post goes on to say, has "heavy consequences": "record financial losses for major power companies and economy-stunting electricity shortages." The story warns that "Japan, once the world's third-largest nuclear consumer, could be nuclear-free, if it is unable to win approval from local communities to restart the idled units."
Then, after musing about the "elaborate network of hand-holding" that used to govern Japan's nuclear infrastructure, Harlan slips in a fact that changes everything:
Since the March 11 accident, just enough has changed to stall that cooperation. Two-thirds of Japanese oppose atomic power. Politicians in areas that host nuclear plants are rethinking the facilities; they hold veto power over any restart. A few vocal skeptics have emerged in the government, and in the aftermath of the accident, Japan has created at least a dozen commissions and task forces for energy-related issues.
So when the pro-nuclear goals of "most bureaucrats and politicians" are "thwarted by a powerful minority," that's a sign of the dysfunctional Japanese system, with its "tendency to search for, and sometimes depend on, consensus." The fact that this "minority" actually represents the large majority of the Japanese public who oppose the technology that has rendered substantial parts of their country uninhabitable--well, that's just another roadblock that the establishment is going to have to overcome.
http://www.fair.org/blog/2012/01/26/the-japanese-nuclear-establishment-vs-the-two-thirds-minority/
It IS a climate emergency by Peter Carter
Wind power is safe from Fiona Armstrong
Solar's hot, even when the sun is not by Matthew Wright
The situation for ecosystems and species with respect to already committed global warming and climate change is a desperate planetary emergency.
By the climate science we are today absolutely committed to a tripling of today's global average temperature increase of 0.8C ie. 2.4C with a significant probability of up to 4C (Ramanthan, Feng PNAS 2008 Dangerous climate interference...). Even if all national emissions reduction pledges made under the UNFCCC are carried out in full we are committed to an increase of 3 to 4C. Global emissions are tracking the worst case IPCC scenario. The International Energy Agency says that in just a few years we will be committed by energy infrastructure development to 6C by 2100. This is literally an end of the world scenario.
The climate is already being forced and the oceans acidified at rates many thousands of times faster than ever before and this comes on top of what many consider is the 6th major extinction event.
Without the recognition of this planetary emergency humanity cannot survive and the worst ever extinction event can only be expected.
All scientific organizations must make urgent recommendations to their governments and the UN to address the emergency.
Peter Carter
Climate Emergency Institute.
Peter is a retired MD (Canada) with past experience in environmental health policy development. The idea of the Climate Emergency Institute is to have climate change researchers/writers with various skills in various countries, especially the most climate change vulnerable.
The national coalition of health care groups, the Climate and Health Alliance (CAHA), has today released its Position Statement on wind turbines and human health, rejecting the claims of anti-wind groups that wind power poses a threat to health.
Developed by the organisation's scientific advisory group on behalf of the members of CAHA, the Position Statement underscores the fact that renewable energy generation such as wind power provides a safe and healthy alternative to fossil fuels.
"There is no credible peer reviewed scientific evidence that demonstrates a link between wind turbines and direct adverse health impacts in people living in proximity to them," CAHA Convenor Fiona Armstrong said.
"In contrast, Australia's current energy generation that relies on the burning of fossils fuels such as coal and gas is not only contributing to climate change but (particularly in the case of coal) also poses significant threats to human health."
The> Health and Wind Turbines paper finds while large-scale commercial wind farms have been in operation internationally for many decades, often in close proximity to thousands of people, there is no scientifically validated evidence of any associated increase in ill-health in these populations.
"The balance of current scientific evidence indicates that while a small proportion of people may experience annoyance associated with wind turbines, on the whole no direct adverse physiological health effects related to wind turbines have been demonstrated," Ms Armstrong said.
"In contrast however, there are well documented and serious threats to human health from burning fossil fuels for electricity generation and transport in the form of cardiovascular disease, respiratory disease and cancer," Ms Armstrong said.
"It is estimated that the harm to health from emissions from Australian coal-fired power stations is costing the Australia community $A2.6 billion annually. Together with the health damage from fossil fuel powered transport emissions, this amounts to an annual health bill of almost $6 billion, as well as contributing to more than 1000 deaths each year."
Fiona is the convenor of the Climate and Health Alliance. I am personally a member, as is the Australian Psychological Society, of which I am an elected Director.
On the cloudiest day in the gloomiest weather, when I check my solar system I find it is still generating and exporting clean renewable energy into the grid. My solar system, like all rooftop solar systems, generates even when it's cloudy. That's because solar technology is able to produce electricity under diffuse light conditions.
Generally speaking, in the darkest, cloudiest hour on the gloomiest day, your solar system will be generating as much as 25 per cent of a normal clear day output. On a day with light cloud cover, your system could be achieving as much as 50 per cent of a normal clear-day's hour of production.
On the worst day in winter, the sky covered in thick clouds with only nine hours of daylight in Melbourne, my 100 square metre 15 kilowatt solar system still produces more electricity than my all-electric household's entire daily demand; and in summer on a cloudy day I'm still exporting significant excess electricity to the grid.
One of the reasons that cloudy day output is surprisingly good is that on cloudy days the surface of your solar panels are usually cooler, meaning that the solar cells themselves perform better. There is less light to cause the photovoltaic effect, which is how the photons of light get converted into electricity. But the superior operating temperature compensates considerably for the lower light conditions.
Today, solar panel efficiency is rising (in watts per square metre): the average panel would be 14 per cent efficient in optimal conditions, while SunPower, owned by French oil company Total (the market leader by efficiency), markets very efficient (albeit expensive) single layer monocrystalline panels at 18.5 per cent efficiency. Then comes Sanyo, who have a multi-layer panel which combines a conventional silicon wafer (what you see on most solar rooftops) with an amorphous layer. Today Sanyo are selling panels that have an 18 per cent efficiency, and are predicting they can rise to 30 per cent efficiency in the not too distant future, using this multi-layer technology.
Whether Sanyo or another technology wins out, within a decade we can expect solar panel efficiencies to double and costs to continue to decline significantly as a result of increasing efficiencies.
So in the future, when I swap my 15 per cent efficient solar panels for new 30 per cent efficient units, effectively I will be producing half the best output of today's panels even on a cloudy day. And in the future, anyone who wants the same performance on cloudy days as on clear days today will only need twice the roofspace, and in the worst clouds they'll be producing the same amount of electricity as in the best clear-sky conditions today.
Furthermore, my house and shed is 170 square metres -- a fairly representative roofspace for the 6 million average Australian detached homes. And on top I have 5kW of rooftop solar panels facing north, 5kW of Solar facing east and 5kW facing west. My system can be producing significant electricity production in the early morning and well into the early evening.
The total annual production of my system in Melbourne is 18,000kWh for the year. For comparison, my all-electric house (heat pump hot water, induction cooktops, two LCD televisions, laptops, six heat pump heater/air conditioners and a water pump) consumes 4,000kWh in a year. Much of the 18,000kWh of production occurs on cloudy days as, according to the Bureau of Meteorology, Melbourne experiences 180 cloudy days per year. So the fact that rooftop solar produces when it is cloudy is an important one, that needs to be noted by anyone who is considering a solar system or planning solar for a 100 per cent renewable energy future.
Today, an average 170m2 house can produce more than 18,000kWh of annual electricity. There are over 6 million stand-alone houses and if all of those households had the same amount of rooftop solar as my house we'd (theoretically) be producing half of the nation's on-grid electricity demand. Of course, to achieve 25-50 per cent penetrations of PV we'd need to load shift much of what we and many of our businesses, such as water authorities, do at nighttime to daytime, pre-heat and cool our houses during daylight hours (sunny or cloudy) and we'd have to curtail some amount of production in summer. And of course in just 10 years time we'll be able to double our rooftop solar systems output, just by flipping the panels and inverters to new cheaper more efficient ones.
Oh and this is eminently doable -- In Germany they installed 3,000MW of rooftop solar in December on their Christmas holidays when temperatures were sub-zero. That's equivalent to 200,000 Australian houses with the same size solar system as mine.
Rain hail or shine, solar will power on.
http://beyondzeroemissions.org/
Matthew Wright
Executive Director
Beyond Zero Emissions
Wild Magazine Environmentalist of the Year 2011
Environment Minister's Young Environmentalist of the Year 2010
EcoGen Clean Energy Young Industry Leader 2010
Mercedes Benz Environmental Research Award Winner 2010
Strategic Research Partnership, University of Melbourne Energy Research Institute
For the first time in 33 years, I am sharing the house with an electric fridge. I can hear it go on, and buzz away for a while before thankfully going silent again. That's fine if the electricity comes from locally generated solar power, but what about the millions of fridges that are powered by dirty coal and/or dirty nuclear?
For at least 40 years, there have been super-efficient fridge designs that use a minute fraction of the electricity needed of the best one you can buy in the shop.
Here are some features that would improve the device:
Therefore, a chest-type cooler is better than one with a vertical door. If you must have the conventional shape, it should have as many measures in place as possible to minimise the exchange of air with the outside, for example:
* The door should be transparent (double glazed with vacuum between the two panels).
* Inside, there should be drawers of various heights, with a pattern of holes in the bottom of each so air within the fridge can circulate. The front of each drawer should be a whiteboard, so the content can be described it. This means you look for, say, the cheese, see it's in the second top drawer. Open the door, pull the drawer open (so only the air from the front of that drawer falls out), grab the cheese and close everything.
* If you want to have more extended interaction with a drawer, you take it out, shut the fridge, have your way with the drawer and its contents, then replace it.
The Jewslim and me by Lyn Benson
The gift by Alfredo Zotti
"In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher." Dalai Lama
I always thought of myself as tolerant, unbiased, accepting. And then the phone call came. My first clue that something was up was the colour of my son's face, puce if I remember correctly. He handed the phone to me and my 19 year old daughter announced from Lombok Island that she was engaged to marry her Muslim boyfriend.
We had met him once on a holiday to Lombok and thought he was quite sweet, kind, came from a huge family and had a brother who was some kind of Medicine Man, but of no significance really. My daughter would grow tired of him or he would realize that they were two different people from two different worlds. I never actually entertained the idea that we would have to "accept" him as one of our own. Out of the range of possibilities and therefore out of my conscious awareness.
A year later, I found myself suddenly and abruptly filled with fear for my only daughter and with a formidable Jewish family in the background, I became overwhelmed with challenges to my own belief system, the pull of the obligations of my history and culture, and the desire to be comfortable but stagnant in the company of the familiar.
This was pre 9/11 but we still had our stereotypes, not the least being Sally Fields' rendition of a mother trying to rescue her kidnapped children from Iran in Not without my Daughter. In fact, my sister even kindly dropped over a copy of the video for me to watch just in case I was unaware of the dangers my daughter now faced if I "allowed" her to marry this boy from Mars. Anyway what would a 19 and 20 year old know about love?
But this was not a story being related to me in my office by a distraught client nor an academic piece of research. This was about me, my only daughter, my family, my world.
I needed to find out what we were dealing with so my son organized an interview with the Indonesian Consulate, who tried to allay my fears. It never once occurred to me how patronizing I must have sounded to this gentleman who was confronted with a highly educated, passionate and now somewhat irrational woman asking ignorant and insensitive questions about his country, his belief system, his political ideologies.
My psychology training had not prepared me for the unspoken but very powerful implicit values lurking just under the radar of my middle class Jewish persona. How would we cope with what others thought? What about the gossip and innuendo from well meaning but interfering friends and relatives? What if my daughter had children and he kidnapped them? What if she settled Indonesia to live in poverty and with domestic violence? My thoughts became fused with images and never before imagined prejudice. He was not like me or mine or us, he was of the "other." He WAS "them."
Family members literally became hysterical and a few friends stayed away, clearly even more lost in their own frame of reference than I was.
Eventually my daughter and her fiance came to live with us. His first impression of our way of life was our adored German Shepherd who he honestly thought was a robot! Dogs in his village in Indonesia were considered vermin and because of the poverty in Lombok are rarely kept as pets, let alone have the run of the house.
However, over time, instead of treating us as foreign and alien, he embraced us, cooked for us, taught me how to grow fresh herbs and make a banquet from left over scraps of food. I realized with some sense of shame that just because his skin was a different colour, his religion was different from mine and his English skills were charmingly limited, this young man was actually like me. I came to understand that genuine humility is more important than one's ancestry, that generosity is more important than skin colour and that his family values are actually my family values.
How amazing for me to be given this test of myself, thrown right out of my comfort zone, faced with a rendition of myself that I had no compass bearings for.
Not without some cross cultural challenges, but 18 years and two amazing mixed race grandchildren later, I am now even more committed to encouraging tolerance, acceptance and humility in our dealings with people whose culture we may not understand, whose customs we may find strange and whose accents we find challenging to interpret yet have so much to offer us and ultimately, are all part of the same wonderful, intricate and fragile world we all call home.
What I have come to learn is that the Jewish and Muslim religions and family values have more similarities than differences, that embracing a new son has been a priceless gift and that I have yet so much to learn about myself and the "others." I am a work in progress. And I wouldn't change a thing.
(This story has been edited and blessed by my Jewslim daughter.)
Lyn Benson is a Counselling Psychologist, in full time private practice in Melbourne since 1997. In addition, Lyn has extensive experience designing and facilitating skills training workshops both for Australian and International workshop participants. Currently Lyn is running Mindfulness Parenting workshops and is co-presenter at a residential workshop in Turkey in June 2012 "Mindful Loving for Everyone's Sake."
It is ironic that while our television screens are bearers of bad news and portray a dangerous world, the reality is that we are getting wealthier: our chances of dying are less than any in previous ages and what were once fatal illnesses are now curable.
But our world is sick not because of lack of resources, ideas or goodwill, but essentially because of greed and isolation, which are people's two greatest enemies.
History should tell us that it was precisely the solidarity, cooperation and generosity that saved us from the wild beasts and from the Neanderthals of prehistory; for while beasts and Neanderthals lived a lonely life, mostly in segregation from other members of the clan, homo-sapiens had understood that living together was their strength, and by so doing they would be stronger and able to fight against the most dangerous of beasts. Many eyes are better than two and many hands make light work.
It is true to say that despite our technological and scientific advancement, people are becoming increasingly selfish and greedy and we seem to have forgotten that the act of giving to others is extremely therapeutic and it is not only good for our society but mostly for our own wellbeing. The new drug of today's age should be "giving to others" because it is something that makes humans grow spiritually and morally and leads us to a better world. In this sense, many would have discovered that piling up wealth and material things does not lead to happiness. Many of us know this and yet the world seems to follow an old ideology based on the survival of the fittest, competition and self interest, all of which leads to suffering that, if we were only a bit more spiritually developed and wise, would be escapable. Unfortunately, the leaders of today have the wisdom of two year old toddlers and this is a concern.
To become generous and kind is one of life's richest blessings. And yet to become generous or kind requires that we move away from the idea of money because where there is money involved, corruption and misguided ideas seem to set in. Giving is very therapeutic, it changes us and it makes us realize that we are not single, segregated entities but essentially plural. The journey of a wise person is to lose one's ego and find that we are merely the pieces of a puzzle. We have a group spirit and a group mentality that needs guidance and to be nurtured, for left to its own devices this group mentality, unguided by the spirit, is a negative force that will lead us to self destruction.
Give, learn how to be generous and help others. It is not about money but about life. By so doing we will discover, from personal experience, that Einstein was right when he said that only a life lived for others is worth living.
I hate my violent nature
Nightmares of death
I'm 13 and hate to be alive
Why am I suicidally depressed?
Hi Bob,
I have had this problem for a long time. Sometimes, I just get angry very easily. At times, every little thing just making me very, very angry, so angry that I am capable of harming people. However, I have been trying to control my anger, but I can't do and I get so ashamed I want to die. Often, I wish I could just fight the person who has irritated me. When I get angry, it doesn't really matter who you are! I cannot do this to other people so I inflict violence on myself.
What should I do? Please, it's affecting my life in a serious way. I don't want anyone to think that I'm a bad guy. please give me some tips.
Dear Jack,
Even your short note actually shows you to be a good person. You are so upset at the idea of hurting someone else that you hurt yourself instead. Your distress is precisely because you have high moral values. If you were a cruel person, a bad person, you would just do violence to others and justify it to yourself as being all right.
So, you want to control your short temper. This has been difficult, because you have been fighting it. When you oppose and argue with and reject a thought, an emotion, an urge, this gives it power. The more you resist it, the stronger it gets.
You can prove this to yourself. Wait until the next time your body itches somewhere, say your forehead, or the middle of your back. Now, use your willpower to stop yourself from scratching it. Really focus your attention on the itch, and work really hard at not scratching.
It will be agony. The itch will get worse and worse until you can't pay attention to anything else.
OK, Jack, have a scratch. Now, wait for the next itch, and we'll approach it differently. If not scratched, an itch might last for half a minute before fading away, a minute at the most. It may start at a moderate intensity, say 4/10, typically get stronger, say up to 7/10, then fade away. Simply observe your itch. Rate how strong it is, and time how long it takes to fade away. While it is there, just carry on doing whatever you were engaged in.
When you do this, the itch will be a very minor annoyance. It's there, so what.
You can treat anything this way, including an urge to be violent. You don't need to fight it. You don't need to feel bad about having the urge. It is just an itch to be violent. If you use willpower to control it, it will get stronger, and fill your world. If you do nothing about it, just get on with your life, it will fade away in time. It will be a certain strength at the start, and this will change until it is gone. Simply be calm inside about being angry, and observe it.
You see, it's not that you have decided to be angry. It happened because for some reason you have formed the habit of reacting to certain situations and people with anger. Then the habit got stronger and stronger because your attention, your fighting it, has made it so.
If you didn't decide to be angry, then it's not actually your fault that you feel that way, so there is no reason to punish yourself for it.
For the time being, the anger comes. It is there, and that's a fact. You can't avoid it. However, the way you react to it is in your control. You have a choice. If you choose to stay calm within, and simply note you are angry, and observe your anger, then you will get rid of all the distress about having this habit.
And when you do this, the habit will reduce. It will gradually happen less and less often, and not become so strong.
Work on this for a few weeks, perhaps a few months. It takes time to break a long-standing habit. Then let me know how it worked for you.
I am 18 years old. When I was 7 one of my aunts died. She died in her home country, so my family went there to attend the funeral. The body was kept in my gran's house in a coffin for several days. Whenever I looked through the glass to see my aunt's face I was always scared, even though she looked so pretty. I've often had nightmares about my aunt as a ghost.
One night I was watching TV with my other aunt. I put my head on her lap and fell asleep. I didn't wake up for a day and a half. I was told that I never stopped crying and that I had a very high temperature. My doctor asked me a lot of things. She asked what I dreamed of. I only remembered it had to with my dead aunt. when I went back to England I stopped having dreams about her, but now I may have to go back, and am worried if the same things happen again?
Dear Sara,
This was 11 years ago. My concern is not what happened then, but that it still bothers you now. In England, you can see a psychologist at government expense. I strongly recommend that you find one who is good at working with the aftereffects of trauma. You will find that a surprisingly small number of sessions will have put this memory into perspective.
I suspect that part of the problem may be your view of death. The whole idea may be terribly scary to you.
My dear, death is normal. There is nothing wrong with it. It is OK for people to die. Some do it before they are even born, others after more than 100 years, but we all do it sooner or later. It is not some terrible and mysterious process, but much the same as birth: a transition from one state of being to another.
There is interesting evidence that a person existed in another form before being born, and exists in a very real sense, but not associated with a body, after death. I have heard from people who have experienced clinical death (heart beat and breathing stopped, sometimes for quite some time, then return to life) that death is more like falling awake than falling asleep.
Also, we have purpose. You are here on this planet to do certain things, although you cannot know what they are. This is why suicide is wrong: it gets in the way of people doing what they are here to do.
So, the past happened, and actually it was all right, except that an impressionable, sensitive little girl put the wrong interpretation on it. The future will come. We don't know what will happen, but it certainly will involve death. And that is all right.
In the meantime, you have the present. Live in this moment, and do your best to enjoy it to the full.
I hav had a good life untill my little sister was born in 2006 then my life went down hill. My dad would make me feel like shit all the time he wud upset me and sometimes i jus think he doesnt care about me now more. Then 3 years later i went away with my nan to devon and when i came back i found out that my mom and dad broke up and he left me when i was in year six and went up to manchester for six mounths when i was doin my sats and i had my prom and there was goin into yr 7 and he came bk the day before i started high skool. Then my mom met bk up with her first love and now she is gunna marry him. Although i am 13 ive had a lot of boyfriends and one i got hurt realy badly and i am realy scared of trustin anyone else.
Ever since my dad left ive had a shit life all my boyfriends hav been uter twats to me one hurt me and messed with my head and he was the one who gave me anxiety cuz he told his cousin tht i was pregnant with his child when i am still a virgin so i dont know how tht works. And i like with boy buh i hav a boyfriend and i dont know wha to do anymore i try every day to make my self look beautiful buh when i wLk out tht door i just want to turn around and go bk inside buh i no tht if i do tht thn im jus a failer buh my mom is depressed at the moment so i core tok to her and there are things tht i cant tlk about and its hard to because i jus want to shout them out but i no tht my mom wud nrvr forgive me. I jus think my life can be give to some how disever it unlike me who gets bullied and cant be pretty and hav a normal life i mean i think i hav something wrong with my head and its hard to tlk to anyone about it even my mom or older sister or best friend how has been with me thorugh everything. So i jus hope u can help me out
Annie my dear,
Being 13 is difficult at the best of times. Most 13-year-olds feel like you some of the time. This is true for boys as well as girls. Actually, you are doing better than I did at 13. You have had boyfriends -- I couldn't even talk to girls. I knew myself to be ugly and stupid and useless, just like all these bad things you say about yourself.
You know what? I wasn't really ugly and stupid and useless. I bet the same is true for you. I ended up building a very good life for myself. So can you.
So, maybe part of the disease is being a young teenager. That has a cure: a few years of growth. Only, it's not the years that cure the disease, but what you do during those years.
Some of us have a bad start for doing that right. Feeling rejected and unwanted by your father makes it hard to respect and like yourself -- and that's what is needed. For half your life, you have felt faulty and damaged and no good.
This has done at least two bad things.
First, a person sends out a message in the way you talk, the things you say, the expressions on your face and the way you hold your body. For some people the message is positive: "I am wonderful, I can be a really good friend for you." They have "RESPECT ME" written on their forehead For you, for me when I was 13, the message is, "I am hopeless, no one could possibly like me." People like us have "KICK ME" written on our foreheads. Well, I changed "kick me" to "respect me," and so can you, but for now, because of the way you feel about yourself, you act in a way that brings all these bad things into your life like the boy who told lies about you.
Second, you have been so full of misery that you have had little attention for school work. When I was 13, I accidentally made the opposite choice, and discovered an antidepressant for me. This was reading books, studying, learning about all sorts of things. Sometimes, I went to the library and read things from the encyclopaedia! When I was learning, involved in my reading, I could forget about my horrible life, my damaged view of myself. Study was a holiday from life.
You can do the same. You have a lot of catching up to do. Use the internet, or get help from a teacher, and become EXCELLENT at school work.
This will do two things for you, as it did for me. When you start improving, you will have evidence to disprove all the nasty things you believe about yourself. And by being good at something, anything, you will build your self-confidence. That will be the first step in changing "kick me" to "respect me."
Annie my dear, you are welcome to email me back.
For quite a few years now I've been dealing with depression, I've had counselling but nothing works for me as it doesn't address why one gets depression or is depressed.
Question: When one's depression is at it's highest why does one see themselves slashing their wrists & have the feeling that they would be better off dead.
Dear Sheila,
Your question recognises an important truth: you have noticed that these terrible urges to damage yourself only come when your depression is in control.
Think of it this way. A long time ago, probably when you were a little girl, a monster moved in with you. I don't know the exact details, but this monster will have come from the family Never Good Enough. She is very good at saying things to you in a way that feels like your own thoughts to you. So, your mind has Sheila-thoughts and Monster-thoughts.
The monster feeds on sadness and suffering. Her aim is to kill you, as slowly and miserably as possible.
I would like to argue with another part of what you wrote. A person doesn't get depression or is depressed. A person DOES depression. It is an activity, a habit of action (some of the action being thoughts and emotions). This habit has no doubt been with you for a very long time, although it may well have lain hidden for years at a time. When it is triggered, it seems to change the world, and everything seems as if it was hopeless. There is nothing but misery, and there seems to be no way out (even though previous such terrible times eased off). So, to the sufferer, the only way out seems to be death. The monster is waiting inside, licking her lips, feeding off the misery, urging you to end it all. If you give in, the monster has won.
It is possible to pull the monster's teeth. Chances are, the self-damaging inner voice will always stay with you, but you can learn to treat it like noise.
Have you ever been in the same room with a telly that's on, but not paying any attention to it? Someone asks, "Hey Sheila, what's on the telly?" and you have to answer, "Don't know, I was thinking of something else."
First, you need to distinguish Monster-thoughts from Shirley-thoughts. Then, as soon as you identify a Monster-thought, you treat it in the same way as the telly you are not watching.
This is a new skill, and very difficult at first, but it works very well.
Writers Helping Readers by Aileen, AKA Sleepyscribbler
To comma or not to comma
Here's a puzzle for you. Try reading this: ewif a fo tnaw ni eb tsum ,enutrof doog a fo noissesop ni nam elgnis a taht ,degdelwonkca yllasrevinu hturt a si ti.
Did you recognise it as the opening of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice written backward? Confident readers often don't realise what it is like to struggle in a world of confusing sqiggles. Perhaps this gave some insight into the problems faced by adults with reading difficulties.
What it can't demonstrate is how people try to cope: memorising the position of objects with unrecognisable labels; pretending to forget their glasses; asking, "What do you think about this?" to get clues about a newspaper article; or simply disparaging reading altogether. I've known people do them all. Why? To avoid embarrassment, or being thought stupid.
But low general ability is only one cause of literacy problems. Some people had poor access to basic education or parents who seemed not to value learning. Adults who left education early join immigrants from countries with poor general education in forming the largest percentage of sub-literate adults in the US.
Immigrants may not only find the words unfamiliar. Some languages use words in a different order to English, others have no words for past or future, and many have completely different symbols, for example Greek or Japanese. Even when symbols are familiar, their associated sounds can differ widely. Try pronouncing: "Madhian mha, a Mhari. Ciamar a tha thu an diugh?" Did you even get close to, "Madjen va, a Vari. Keemer a ha oo un joo?" Not easy to learn Scottish Gaelic, pronounced "gahlic," is it? (It means, "Good afternoon, Mary. How are you today?")
Intelligent, educated, native speakers, too, may struggle because of dyslexia or other specific perceptual problems, and need particular teaching stratagems. Their needs might include coloured overlays, kinetic (movement) methods or textured letters, etc., to by-pass their perceptual problem. That's why proper training is important if you want to help.
The methods you might automatically use aren't necessarily the best. For example, phonics -- linking letters with sounds -- can seem obvious, but not all words in English fit the phonic pattern. Besides, most adults don't read phonically.
Try this: It deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteers be at the rghit pclae.
It's not quite true, but shows that skilled readers don't analyse words phonetically. They recognise words by the context and general shape. That's why you should never use capital letters when helping anyone to read. Capital letters make all words the same rectangular shape. Consider AEROPLANE or aeroplane. Which word is easier to recognise?
Reasons for poor literacy may vary but the results are clear: embarrassment, social stigma and isolation, poor employment opportunities and the likelihood of passing it on to another generation. As writers, shouldn't we help others do something which gives us so much pleasure -- and employment?
But helping adults with reading isn't just a matter of goodwill. Find out what services are available locally and volunteer for proper training. Above all, though, you need to understand that it's not about teaching; it's about one competent adult helping another competent adult to learn what they need to learn.
Aileen is a frequent contributor to a writers' email list I am on. As you can see, she is compassionate, articulate and well-informed.
A number of times recently people on writers' lists have expressed puzzlement about where to use a comma.
While there are different styles and conventions, to me the issue is simple enough. I use a comma where it will make it easier for the reader to get my message. As with everything else, I don't use it unless it is required for this purpose.
Punctuation marks in general are signposts. Their job is to inform the reader of how the text is to be segmented. Specifically, a comma is the main tool for cutting a sentence into meaningful parts.
A comma does this in the following ways:
When one or more items in the list have a comma, they should be separated by a semicolon: "They stood in front of me: the blond boy, his nose still bleeding; the little fellow with a smirk on his face; the girl, her hands formed into fists; and the furious mother."
It may be a "parenthetical phrase." Examples are "By the way, I am ready now;" "As they walked down the street, hand in hand, she looked up at the sky."
It may be an address. "John, please pick that up," or "Listen, Sue, I'm speaking to you," "That boy there, I am speaking to you!"
Words like "however," "therefore" and the like need a comma after them. Some people insist on having a comma before words like "too," as in "We went to the Zoo and he came, too." This kind of comma is optional. Since it adds nothing, and one doesn't have a pause when saying it aloud, I always leave such commas off.
Beyond this, there are certain mechanical places such as within dates, before a quote within a sentence and when writing long numbers.
To summarize again: if having the comma improves readability, put it in. Otherwise, leave it out.
Of course, if you are an experienced writer or editor, you may disagree with me. If so, write a rebuttal.
Healthy planet --> healthy you
Petition: Don't allow woodchip as "renewable" fuel
Help Environment Victoria fight back
February Bainstorming
New magazine launched
This year, the Climate and Health Alliance will host two innovative and unique events at the Melbourne Sustainable Living Festival.
1. LOWER EMISSIONS & LENGTHEN YOUR LIFE.
What do sick cities, mental health, urban transport and green lungs have in common? Join this groundbreaking forum to find out why a safe climate means a healthy human being.
SAT 18 FEB
1 pm -- 2.30 PM
BMW EDGE, Federation Square, Melbourne.
This is a free event!
2. In what is thought to be a world-first, a 'popup' Climate and Health Clinic will offer 'climate and health checks' where volunteer health promoters will assist people to develop their own 'prescriptions' for climate and health -- outlining the health benefits of emissions reductions and sustainable living and highlighting opportunities for personal action.
The 'clinic' will operate all day Saturday 18th and Sunday 19th February @ Federation Square in Melbourne.
If you are a health professional or health student and would like to volunteer at this event, click here.
Download the entire festival program at www.festival.slf.org.au
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Traditional markets for woodchip are disappearing. The industry's response is to try to have laws changed to allow it to be burned for electricity generation as "renewable" fuel. If you don't agree that forests should be destroyed for profit, then sign this petition.
Dear Bob,
I need your help. This is a situation like no other. Victoria's environment is under attack and your voice to protect it is being silenced. Environmental protection wins over the last 20 years are being rapidly overturned as the Baillieu government opens up Victoria as a free-for-all for mining, logging and irrigation.
Join with us to stand up for our environment and show this government that we can't be silenced. You can become a Green Action Partner for only 30 cents a day.
Since the 2010 election, the Baillieu Government has consistently taken backward steps for our environment.
They don't appreciate Environment Victoria's diligence in holding them to account on their poor environmental credentials and non-existent environmental plan.
So what do they do? In a style not seen since the Howard or Kennett days, they've come after us hard -- defunding Environment Victoria to the tune of $1 million dollars in an effort to silence the voice of people like you and me.
Please stand with us and become a Green Action Partner today. As a Green Action Partner, your ongoing monthly contribution of $9 will help safeguard Victoria's environment for the long term.
Your once-off donations help us tackle short-term environmental campaigns, like replacing the Hazelwood power station, but to protect our environment for the long-term, we need reliable, regular income.
The Baillieu Government is likely to be around for the next seven years. That's a long time to spend with a government that takes our environment backward at such a critical time for our planet. That's why we need your ongoing commitment.
As we roll out our immediate activities to stop HRL -- the proposed new coal-fired power station for Victoria and to replace Hazelwood -- we must also put in motion a long-term plan to implement permanent changes. We're planning a massive engagement strategy across Victoria to show this government (and the opposition) that the environment is not a partisan political issue.
These strategies will have an enormous impact on Victoria's environment. But we can't do it without your help.
For forty years, Environment Victoria and people like you have worked together to create a greener future. We've driven world first legislation to protect our rivers and overturned bans on green energy. We've stopped dams, kick-started renewable energy and held one of the world's biggest climate change rallies -- to name just a few. There's no way we're going to let that stop now.
Yours sincerely,
The February Bainstorming is now live at http://www.darrellbain.com/
Subjects this month: The Famous brown sheepskin, State of America series: Drug problems illegal and otherwise, Letting books go, Progress report, Book reviews, Political columnists, New dog: Tip, Piddling, Fan Mail, The Melanin Apocalypse, Excerpt from The Melanin Apocalypse.
Darrell Bain
This Next Wave Magazine is a new, collaborative, culturally relevant print publication; providing a platform for expression, for discussion and for finding common ground to enable constructive social change.
Come and celebrate the beginning of This Next Wave with live painting, exceptional music and a feast of inspiration created by this affable alchemy on a lovely afternoon.
Sunday 19th February, 3-6 pm,
Hi everyone!
I hope 2012 is bringing exciting new things for everyone. I just wanted to let you know that the first issue of This Next Wave is out! It's beautiful and we're really happy with it and can't wait to share it with the world and see what comes back. The easiest way to get your hands on a copy is through our website thisnextwave.com
Throughout the year our website is going to be hosting a lot of exciting tidbits, drawing some of the threads from the first issue to develop and discuss them, as well as planting new seeds. I'd love you to be a part of this conversation. By liking our facebook page http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/This-Next-Wave/151731828215653 you can stay up-to-date with things that happen on our website throughout the year. We are also working on an 'e' version of the magazine to be released in the next few months.
And please, this project is not a passive thing, let us know what you think, help us develop these ideas or throw up some new ones.
love
New Feature: a quiz from Shah N. Khan
Shah has hundreds of puzzles to entertain you. He has a weekly newsletter Fraternity Briefs for Inspiration, Humor & Quiz for Personal Development.
The last issue presented the first puzzle from him:
ABILITY I PLUS
What 12 letter word can be found by rearranging the letters in this anagram?
Now I can reveal the answer: PLAUSIBILITY
And yes, one person emailed me and got a prize. Andrew Dunnard now has a free electronic copy of Anikó: The stranger who loved me.
Shah's second puzzle is here. Again, if you get the right answer, you will be rewarded with one of my electronic books for free.
2. Five of these six words have something in common. Which is the odd one out? (Hint: think of anagrams):
blast, table, ablest, lost, cruel, tool
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Petition: Don't allow woodchip as "renewable" fuel
Help Environment Victoria fight back
Kelly O'Shanassy
br>and the Team from Environment Victoria
February Bainstorming
Fictionwise Author of the Year
Multiple Dream Realm and Eppie awards
New magazine launched
How Now Warehouse, 50 Rose St, Fitzroy, Victoria, Australia.
Sarah de Vries
editor
thisnextwave.com
A little fun
New Feature: a quiz from Shah N. Khan
About Bobbing Around
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